


You May Fall, But I Will Catch You

by holdyourbreathfornow



Series: Family of Three [15]
Category: Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware - Fandom
Genre: Aliens, Allusions to Child Abuse, Allusions to memory loss, Alternate Universe, Body Horror, Just being safe, Mind Control, Mind spaces, Minor Injuries, Multi, Symbolism, alien possession, but it's minor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:54:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27647110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holdyourbreathfornow/pseuds/holdyourbreathfornow
Summary: They're almost to Xen, and while Benrey may be playing it off, Gordon's more than a little concerned about them.Hopefully they can figure out whatever's wrong.
Relationships: Benrey/Tommy Coolatta/Gordon Freeman, Bubby & Gordon Freeman, Dr. Coomer & Gordon Freeman, Dr. Coomer/Bubby
Series: Family of Three [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1918150
Comments: 8
Kudos: 125





	You May Fall, But I Will Catch You

Gordon knows there’s something off with Benrey. He’s known since this whole Resonance Cascade mess started. Sure, the whole passport thing may have been an inside joke after a scientist was bitching about needing to renew his, but Benrey’s… They’re obsessing over it, like a record stuck on loop. 

But right now, Gordon’s more focused on just keeping everyone alive. There will be time to worry about Benrey later. Not that he’s not worried about them, it’s just- He doesn’t even know what he’s trying to say anymore. 

He wonders if it’s the blood loss, making his thoughts feel like fog in his brain, thick and heavy and impossible to pierce through. Tommy’s a warm constant at his side, and Gordon hasn’t even questioned the other man’s sudden switch from calling him ‘Mr. Freeman’ to ‘Gordon’, but it is nice. 

They’d gotten the portal to Xen up, and Gordon, as always, feels that familiar tug inside his gut to travel to that other plane, but he swallows it down and turns to Benrey, who’s rapping their knuckles nervously on the side of their helmet. 

“Are you okay?” He asks and they twitch their head. He tries to reach out to them, but they pull away, and he swallows down the stream of hurt Sweet Voice. He doesn’t want to accidentally guilt them, not when they’re already on the edge as it is. “Benrey, we’re almost done. Then you and I can just fuckin’... I dunno, live on Xen or something.” They snort at that and look at him.

“Gonna make us live on Xen? Gonna make me hunt for you, Gordon Weakman?”

“Hey, humans are plenty good at adapting!” He lifts his gun arm, having already adjusted to its weight, and isn’t that an upsetting thought in some way. “Plus, I’ve got this bad boy!”

“Get attention from every big bad around, Dumbdon.” Benrey chuckles again, and Gordon grins. This is the closest Benrey’s been to their regular self since this whole mess started, and it feels a little like some of the weight’s been lifted off Gordon’s chest when he hears their raspy laughter.

“G-gordon?” Tommy walks up, having broken off from where Coomer and Bubby are fiddling with various instruments. “I-is everything… Okay?”

“Yeah.” Gordon nods. “Benrey’s just being a scaredy-cat.”

“Fuck you.” Benrey hisses and their tail lashes, but bright yellow Sweet Voice bursts out from their mouth and betrays their amusement. “Gordon  _ Meanman _ .”

“I s-swear, the two of you bick- fight like kindergartners.” Gordon doesn’t exactly know what a kindergartner is, but he’s not about to say that right now, not when Tommy just looks amused and Benrey’s somewhat relaxed for the first time in days.

“Let’s  _ go _ , Gordon!” Bubby yells at him from a control panel and Gordon sighs, nodding as he walks away from Tommy and Benrey and towards the portal. Electricity crackles in the air around him and he takes a deep breath. Almost without thinking about it, Gordon turns his head back to where Benrey’s still watching him, eyes glowing faintly under their helmet.

“I’ll see you on the other side.” He tells them and they nod before Gordon leaps through the portal.

-

Xen feels like a cold shower after a gruelling workout, chilly in all the best ways. Gordon hears the fabric of space tear behind him again and he turns. Coomer and Tommy both stand on the same small island as Gordon, but that’s it.

“W-wait, where’s everybody else?” Tommy only shrugs. 

“Gordon, we may have gotten separated due to a fluctuation in the portal!” Gordon shakes his head at Coomer’s explanation and clenches his gun arm a little tighter. Something feels off and he doesn’t like it.

The unease in Gordon proves to be right when a giant shadow looms over the three of them. Gordon cranes his head back. Benrey hovers in the air of Xen, almost ten times as big as Gordon and the others. Multiple eyes bloom across one half of their face and a confused jumble of Sweet Voice that Gordon has no hope of reading is leaking from Benrey’s one normal eye like tears.

“B-Benrey?” Gordon asks and they snarl at him, wordless and hurting and angry. “Benrey, what’s going on?”

“G-Gordon…” Tommy mutters, reaching for his pistol, but Gordon stops him with a hand thrown out. 

“Wait. Let me try to talk to him. Go see if you can find Bubby. He may be able to help or-” Gordon looks back up at Benrey and swallows. “-Or something.” Tommy nods and in his peripheral vision, Gordon sees the other two take off across the islands, floating through the air at a speed that just isn’t fast enough for Gordon’s liking.

“Benrey… What’s going on?” Gordon asks again and all of Benrey’s attention is on him, teeth bared. “Don’t growl at me, fucker, I’m trying to help.” Benrey’s face flickers suddenly and one giant hand reaches for Gordon, stopped by some invisible barrier.

“G-gordonnnnnn.” Their voice dissolves into gurgles, the hand being snatched back to their side, but Gordon’s eyes widen. Benrey’s still in there. They’re trying to talk to him, reach for him. But they can’t. Which means something else is stopping them.

“What are you?” Gordon mutters under his breath and some of Benrey’s new eyes flare an angry red. “Get out of them!” He goes to raise his gun arm, but Gordon falters. Even if there’s something inside of them, this is still Benrey he’s raising a gun to. He can’t hurt them.

He thinks whatever’s inside Benrey knows that too, because one of Benrey’s massive paws lashes out at Gordon quicker than thought, sending him literally flying into a boulder on the edge of the island. His head cracks against the rock and Gordon wheezes in pain, sliding down.

“Benrey… You gotta stop.” He blinks the tears of pain out of his eyes and gets to his feet. Benrey doesn’t say anything, still growling at him, and Gordon turns, putting all the energy he can into sprinting and leaping away. He doesn’t know if he imagines it or not, but he swears he can feel Benrey’s fingers swiping at his back.

-

“Hello, Gordon!” Coomer catches him when Gordon staggers after another jump, pulling him into a hidden alcove in the rock where the rest of the Science Team is camping out.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Bubby hisses and Gordon shakes his head.

“Dude, I could ask you the same thing. But that doesn’t matter right now.” Gordon turns and glances back out, making sure Benrey hasn’t found them yet. “We have bigger issues.”

“W-w-where’s Benrey? Or, uh, maybe Bigrey would be more acc-mmm, correct.” 

“I don’t know. But I think this is it. The big finale, or whatever.”

“Dramatic.” Bubby mutters, then grins. “I like it.”

“Let’s go.” Gordon waves the team out of the alcove, his gun arm raised and uselessly pointing out into the void.

“Wh-where do we go?” Tommy asks, but cuts himself off with a gasp as green lightning begins to crackle around all of them.

“I don’t think we have to worry about that.” They blink away, and appear knee-deep in filthy red water. Gordon almost slips on the slick stone, stopped by Tommy grabbing him by his elbow. “Thanks, Tommy.”

“G-Gordon…” Tommy whispers and Gordon lifts his eyes from the water.

They stand in a cavern made of pulsing red stone, almost fleshy in appearance. In the water in front of them, Benrey looms over them, Sweet Voice twirling around their head like a halo as drool drips from their gaping, panting maw.

“Gordon, for three Playcoins, I can use the forbidden science!” Dr. Coomer pipes up and Gordon shakes his head, ignoring the wave of dizziness that brings on.

“No, w-we… We can’t hurt them. They’re not bad, there’s something else.”

_ “The one… Free Man.” _ A voice rattles, loud enough that Gordon shakes with it as it bounces off the walls around them.  _ “The invader, the half and half.” _

“Why are you using Benrey?” Gordon asks and the rattling voice wheezes with laughter, gross and phlegmy. “Let them go.”

_ “And why should I?”  _ Benrey’s mouth stretches in what Gordon thinks is supposed to be a mocking smile, Sweet Voice and spit still leaking out from the corners.  _ “This creature belongs to Xen, owes their existence to Xen. And yet they abandon us to come and play with you humans? They must be punished.”  _ The talking stops and Benrey roars, one arm rearing back. Gordon pushes Tommy out of the way, Coomer and Bubby following close behind as the arm splashes into the water, sending up waves of water that almost knock Gordon off his feet again.  _ “I’ll crush you like the pests you are! I’ll make this creature see how weak you really are!” _

__ “Gordon… I don’t think we have a choice in fighting Benrey.” Bubby mutters and Gordon hisses between his teeth.

“Just, just let me think!”

“Think fast, Gordon!” Coomer begins rolling his lab coat sleeves up. “We can’t dodge Chief Boper forever!”

“G-Gordon, I might-might have an idea.” Tommy tells him and Gordon nods. “You-you’re close with Benrey! Maybe if we get you up there, having you close will be able to break through what-wh-whoever’s possessing Benrey!”

“Better than nothing.” Gordon’s eyes cut towards Coomer, his metallic arms glinting in the light of Benrey’s Sweet Voice. “Dr. Coomer, you think you can throw me?”

“With 78.9% accuracy, Gordon!”

“Fuck, that’s almost better odds than usual. Let’s do it.” Coomer scoops Gordon up by the neck of the HEV suit, like a mother cat picking her kitten up by its scruff. Gordon blinks and then he’s flying through the air, colliding with Benrey’s shoulder. He starts to slip down Benrey’s chest and he curses, scrabbling to latch onto the strap of Benrey’s security vest.

“Benrey!” Gordon calls out and Benrey’s head tries to turn towards him, but they can’t do a complete 90 degree turn so Gordon keeps talking. “I know you’re in there! I-I know you don’t wanna fight! You hate growing big! It’s okay! I’m here, okay?”

_ “They’re gone. It’s just you and I now, interloper.”  _ The voice mocks Gordon and he grits his teeth.

“No. Benrey, you’re tougher than this son of a bitch. You’re better than this. I know you, okay?” Above them, the Sweet Voice halo stutters and flickers, like a malfunctioning light show. Gordon stares up at it before his gaze cuts back to Benrey and he climbs up higher on their shoulder, pressing his hands to their cheek. “Yeah, buddy, I knew you were in there.”

_ “Wh-No. Silence, intruder.”  _ There’s a moment but then the halo resumes its spinning path, and one of Benrey’s many limbs comes up and starts pawing at their shoulder, seeking Gordon out with fumbling aim. Gordon clings to them and screws his eyes shut. His stomach lurches and one of his ears feels weirdly warm but Gordon presses his forehead to Benrey’s cool skin and sings out a line of pink to blue Sweet Voice.

Benrey cries out again but it sounds more animalistic, more desperate. Gordon doesn’t see one of their hands close around his waist until he’s already speeding through the air. His vision grays at the edges and blurs. He can’t even tell if he lost his glasses at some point, because if he still has them, they’re totally useless.

_ “Why… Do you have such a foothold over this creature?”  _ The thing possessing Benrey asks, but Gordon doesn’t have the strength or presence of mind to answer.  _ “Hm. You  _ **_are_ ** _ part Xen. Why don’t I just… Find out for myself?”  _ The halo over Benrey’s head begins to spin, faster and faster and faster. Gordon can’t tear his gaze away from it, bile rising in his throat, until his vision goes black.

-

_ “Where… Are we?”  _ A voice seems to whisper and Gordon blinks. He sits up, momentarily grateful that the nausea he was suffering from is gone, at least somewhat. He looks around as he slowly pushes himself to his feet. He doesn’t know where he is, but it looks like a kid’s room, the walls patterned with galaxies and stars. A stuffed cat sits on the pillow, its fur a vibrant orange. Gordon walks forward and picks it up, his thumb brushing over its whiskers.

_ “Why have you brought me here, intruder?”  _ As the voice rings out again, Gordon turns and nearly jumps out of his skin. What looks like a floating insect baby hybrid… Thing floats in one corner of the room, clawed arms held close to its chest. It looks around with beady eyes and almost seems frightened.  _ “Again I ask, where are we?” _

__ “Like I’m supposed to know.” Gordon turns back around and sets the toy back down on the bed, fingers skimming over an orange blanket with stars and rockets on it.

“You’re in my room.” A voice chirps, and Gordon turns. A little boy stands in the doorway, hand still on the knob. “That’s my bed.” 

“Hi there.” Gordon smiles as comfortingly as he can. “I’m sorry, I don’t know how we got here.”

“Do you wanna play?” The little boy asks, and Gordon blinks. His gaze cuts to the alien thing before he looks back at the boy.

“Sure. What games do you like?”

“My Papa’s been teaching me card games, but he says I can’t tell my Daddy I know how to play poker until I’m 12.”

“I like cards.” Gordon settles on the ground and lets the boy deal cards out. “So… Does the freaky alien creature not scare you at all?”

“Not really. It can’t do much here.” The boy looks over at the thing, which screams with rage and jolts like it’s trying to move but suddenly finding it can’t. “See? It’s stuck. Like a fly on flypaper. Uh, you’re here more because of you than it.”

“What?” Gordon asks but the boy finishes dealing and picks his hand up.

“Do you have any fours?” The boy asks and Gordon shakes his head. The boy tilts his head at Gordon and wrinkles his nose. “Oh. Well, here, we can share.” He thumbs through his hand and pulls out a single card, handing it to Gordon. Gordon looks down. It’s the four of hearts.

“That’s… Not how you play.” He tells the kid, who grins.

“Maybe. But the game’s over. That’s more for what’s coming next.”

“Who… Are you?” Gordon asks, his sixth sense rippling up his spine, and the boy grins.

“Your head. You’re a little roughed up right now.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.” Gordon laughs and the boy gets to his feet, going over to the alien.

“It’s dying.” The boy tells Gordon and Gordon doesn’t even have to get up to know he’s right. The creature looks like it’s almost… Shrinking, arms curling in closer and closer until they start sinking through its papery beige skin.

“Why?” Gordon asks, and the boy shrugs.

“Maybe not meant to mess with a human. You’re just enough alien for it to get in, but not stay in.”

“Why doesn’t it just leave?”

“I know what you know. So I dunno.” The alien’s small enough that the boy can cup it in the palm of one hand. He holds it out to Gordon and Gordon takes it. “You gotta leave here now. They’re waiting. We’ll be okay.”

“Are you… Really me?” Gordon asks, watching as the alien finally fades into nothingness.

“Maybe.” The boy shrugs. “You never saw yourself in a mirror, remember? Who knows what you looked like as a kid.”

“...Thanks.” Gordon mutters and wraps the boy in a hug. “Thanks for being the part of us that isn’t scared of scientists or the outside or needles. I still need you sometimes.”

“That’s okay. Everybody does sometimes. But I’m still you, goofy.” In his arms, the texture of the boy’s shirt fades and so does his vision. Gordon sighs and closes his eyes, curling in on himself.

-

“-don, can you hear me? Gordon, c’mon, I know you’re in there, okay?” Gordon’s eyes are already open but he blinks them, groaning as he blinks the visual snow away.

“I feel like someone took a meat tenderizer to me.” He grouses and Benrey laughs as they hug Gordon, carefully loosening their grip when he wheezes in pain. The rest of the Science Team envelop him in a group hug and Gordon looks around. “What’d I miss?”

“Well, Benrey snapped out of the whole ‘alien possession’ thing and started freaking out. They shrank, carried you over, and said the alien was possessing you, which I certainly believe with the freaky light show going on with your eyes for like five minutes.” Bubby sums everything up and Coomer nods.

“Though, Gordon, I do wish you’d told someone about the head injury you received! That may require medical attention!”

“I feel like every part of me requires medical attention.” Tommy smiles at that, though he does his best to shake his head in exasperation. 

“L-let’s get you up. S-s-figure out if you can walk.” Carefully, Tommy helps Gordon to his feet and loops one of his arms over Tommy’s shoulders while Benrey does the same thing with the other arm on the other side. It makes for a bit of an awkward shuffle but Gordon smiles a little as he lets his head droop.

He feels like he can finally relax.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! You can come say hi to me on Tumblr @ holdyourbreathfornow !


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